Sometimes I sit to ponder about certain things, and lately a question made me open some interesting old doors to see where the answer lies. Are we our story?
We all have a story, for some it is a short story and for others a multidimensional story. In truth, we are 7 billion people living on this planet, with 7 billion inner worlds and 7 billion unique stories. Working with people for so long has helped me to clearly see that there are no two stories alike, each one completely unmatched and so consequential to the one that has experienced it, but are we our story? When we identify with our story doesn’t this mean that we embody our past and live it in the now?
Here is how I made the connection. Every event that has happened in our life, is now in the past, is gone, in some people forgotten and forgiven, in others some past events are constantly brought back to the present-day where they still play active and reactive, creating continuous ripples in their present moment, unconsciously. This happens repeatedly until a specific limit is reached, a limit that exhausts the human and its energy to feel and experience that. This specific moment is a step with a tremendous potential to heal that repetitive toxic cycle by becoming aware or conscious of it and of one’s own behavior and conditioning. Thus, separating itself from the story.
Therefore, it doesn’t really feel like we are our story if we can heal, change who we are, reshape ourselves in whatever form we want. I mean, if I am my story then who is the one watching the noticing of this realization, and who is the one that has learned and transcended all that, or what is this that is aware of everything? Doesn’t the story change with time? It is either colorful or grey, it comes and goes, for sure it feels like a continuous momentum, doesn’t it?
Digging deep into it, let me see something. Am I the rebellious hyper sensitive and intuitive dormant 15 years old that was making unconscious mistake after mistake, or the 27 years old that was getting married because her mother said so and her friends were doing the same? Am I the 28 years old flying from country to country, looking into the deepest teachings in this world to find answers to the traumas and challenges occurred in life? Well, no. I am none of that. All that might’ve been a part of “me” at some point, I might’ve felt and experience it but that is gone, understood, forgotten and forgiven. So then, if I am not my past, not my story, if I have changed so many times and I have been the witness of everything all together, then what am I?
Maybe our story has shaped some parts of what we are in the present moment, and even this can be seen and identified with it, it is a choice, isn’t it? Maybe our story is just something that we had to go through and move past, something that has happened and now is gone, right now there is no story unless we choose one, and many of us always choose one. Very few are willing to let go of their stories.
What we are, goes beyond human language, not just a story, but all the stories, all the past, present and future, all thoughts, memories, shapes and colors. What we are is Now, can I dare to say that? Ha! What we are..is there a “we”? I will leave this for another article maybe.
We are not our stories, our fears or our emotions, nor our traumas or our egoistic masks, we are not this body or the conditioning that came with it, nor the mind with its funny entanglements and games.
No, what we are is definitely not this and certainly not a story.
Surrender is surrender to this moment, not to a story through which you interpret this moment and then try to resign yourself to it. Eckhart Tolle